​​The Halfling Boy from Warrensport

by Walter Mads Wimberfell, poet and magician

I'm a halfling boy from Warrensport,
My heart is strong and my legs are short,
I went into a nearby mountain cave,
Maybe I'll find some treasure to save.

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

That night I slept on the rocky floor,
And I woke up the next morning with a back so sore,
I shouted and cried to myself, by dad!
I never thought this would feel so bad!

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

But I kept going into the cave,
I have to show everyone that I'm so brave,
When I come back they'll make a hullaballoo
Yes! They will be shouting, "we love you!"

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

I walked over gravel so crunchy,
And I walked through cave moss so smooth,
Then I stepped on something spongy,
So I picked it up, and O O F.

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

I had grabbed the tail of a dragon so green,
It let out a juvenile dragon scream,
I pulled my blade, but in my heart I knew,
that I was surely doomed.

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

The dragon showed me its teeth so sharp,
Glaring at me like a vulture,
I'm food now, I said with a heavy heart,
But, oh well, that's halfling culture.

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

Just then, a giant hand gave the dragon a whack,
Which left it lying on its back,
The large furry fist of a gorilla,
Who wanted to invite me to his underground villa.

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

So the gorilla took the green dragon to jail,
Which made the monster hiss and wail,
Then we went to his monkey place,
The underground gorilla base

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

He turned on the boombox and he fired up the grill,
Never thought I'd be partying with a gorill',
He made some burgers for him and for me,
with pickles, and ketchup, and mayo and cheese.

Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

In this gorilla a friend I see,
Now I never have to be alone,
So please, oh mr. monkey, please!
Take me to the burger zone!

(based on The Rattling Boy from Dublin by William Topaz McGonagall)